On Wednesday of this week, October 4th, the rail workers in the UK decided to have a ‘day of action’, an ironic term of phrase for a national strike. Pretty much all the trains in the country didn’t run at all.
This post isn’t about the strike, although I do broadly support their issues to make the decision, but about the way it almost allowed my fears to prevent me from a decades long ambition to see a musical hero of mine, lyricist Bernie Taupin.
Bernie, author of all those wonderful lyrics on pretty much every song in Elton John’s long glorious career, has just released his autobiography Scattershot, and to support the release of the book was having three nights in three different venues in the UK to talk about his career. One of those dates was at the Opera House in Manchester, about 25 miles from where I live.
I eagerly snapped up a ticket as soon as I heard about it. Bernie was the biggest inspiration for me as a teenager as I started out writing lyrics. The album Captain Fantastic & The Brown Dirt Cowboy, an album chronicling in song the early struggling years of his and Elton’s career, completely transformed the way I wrote lyrics, from simplistic easy rhyming love songs to something with far more depth and imagination.
Without this album, the following years of teaming up with a composer to write complete songs, the memories of meetings with publishers and record labels and working with musicians and in studios quite possibly wouldn’t have happened.
Okay, we never did hit the heights our ambition reached for, but the memories and the recent revival of my own solo song-writing pursuits have been a huge source of satisfaction and enjoyment in my life.
So, what does the train strike have to do with this?
Originally I was catching the train into Manchester and from there a 15 minute straightforward walk to the Opera House. What the strike meant, was that I would have to drive into the city.
I’ve long held a fear of driving into Manchester, many times I’ve taken wrong turnings and ended up the wrong part of the city or driving the wrong way down a one-way street. It does have a reputation for difficult driving for those unfamiliar with the city. So almost every time I go there, I take the train.
But then, I had elevated my fear to ridiculous proportions. In truth, I have driven many times into this city, and despite many panicky moments, always got home safely. It’s just that I hadn’t done it for several years. They had in that time introduced a infamously controversial ‘smart-motorway’ system, the bane for even a regular Manchester bound driver.
For the days leading up to the Taupin event, I was back and forth as to whether I would attend. Every hour seemed to bring a change of mind. At 4.30 am on the day of the talk I decided not to go.
But then it was also nagging at me that if I didn’t go, this chance wouldn’t come back. What would my 17-year-old self think if I passed up this opportunity? Not just him, but what about my present self?
So I broke down my concerns into small pieces. I checked the route -again – and looking at it, it wasn’t far from the end of the motorway. I found a parking site and pre-booked a place, so I knew I wouldn’t be driving round and round looking for somewhere to park. I wrote down in detail the streets to lead me to the venue and it all made sense. I decided then, to go.
I felt much calmer, but this changed at the day wore on, affecting my mood and making me irritable. I knew how ridiculous this was, but that didn’t help. Finally, I had to block out my fears and just do it.
And I did. Despite moments of trepidation and continually telling myself ‘it would be fine’, I drove to the parking site relatively easily, and in hardly any time at all I was parked in my designated spot. After some trial and error, and with the help of some friendly people, found the Opera House. Had a nice meal beforehand. And at 7.30 that evening, the man who had helped ignite my ambitions and was so influential in my creative life, walked out on stage a few yards in front of me. I was finally in the same room as Bernie Taupin.
I didn’t enjoy the driving, I did take one wrong turn on the way home. I was tired, my hands were sweating, my tensions high. But the elation for having done it, with my pre-signed copy of the book in my hand as I walked back in the house, overrode everything.
Do you ever feel your fears grow way out of proportion and stop you looking forward to something that should be pleasurable? I often do, but the thing I fear most, is the feeling of regret and defeat I will have when I let those concerns stop me.
Thanks Bernie.
SONGS AND SCRIPTS AND DUNKING BISCUITS 
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