SONGS AND SCRIPTS AND DUNKING BISCUITS

Down in the overcrowded shallow water of songwriting, which is where I exist, no-one really takes any notice. On any given day, between 60,000 and 100,000 songs get uploaded onto Spotify alone. That’s a lot of songs, and your own, no matter how much you believe in it, can easily be swamped and forgotten almost as soon as it’s out.

It can be very disheartening, as you plug it as much as possible on social media as you tread the fine line between promotion and simply annoying people. You may well have created something original and unique to yourself, but you’re still expecting people – many your own friends – to invest four minutes out of their day to your work when it can be much easier to click a ‘like’ on someone holding up a glass of lager and move on.

However, that doesn’t mean help isn’t out there for little tadpoles like me. On the contrary, as I see from my constant pop-ups on social media there are people and organisations who can ‘guarantee’ any number of Spotify plays via their tried and tested formula.

And here you have to be careful because you are emotionally invested in your song and therefore are more likely to make an emotional decision. And as we all know, decisions based on emotion usually turn out to be the wrong choices, and often expensive ones.

But what if these ‘opportunities’ come from a respectable source? Someone with a clear, respected reputation, someone who has legitimately written songs for big artists and maybe mentors songwriters like myself? Someone with genuine high-profile contacts, forged from a career of hard work and strong professional etiquette?

Surely they are worth our trust, right?

Well, maybe. This is however, when seemingly clearer water can hide the sharks waiting for easy feed like me. (Okay, that’s enough of the oceanic metaphors for one blog, I promise).

I’ve seen a pattern from a few individuals who fit the venerable criteria mentioned earlier, that kind of goes like this. A free webinar is announced to give advice on people looking to raise their profile, and generally get better at promotion. These webinars are usually co-hosted by one or two others of good reputation, who over the course of an hour or two give good, solid advice.

But then, subtly, the sell begins. What if, they say, what if there was someone with the contacts, and the experience, to raise your ‘career’ to levels you aren’t even close to now? And what is those someone’s, were us?

Then the harder sell is under way. So you think, I’ll just wait and see. These guys are legit, so there’s no risk in just listening. An hour later (maybe less but it feels like an hour) and with the help of packed promotion cards listing all they can do for you, they get to the price. And on the last one I saw, that price was anything from £1600 for a basic package to £5500 for the full.

Then we’re told the people are already signing up and there are only so many places available and…well, you can guess the rest. By now that respected songwriter has turned into a second hand car salesman. Now I’m not suggesting they steal your money and don’t help you get known more widely, but for that money I’d want a sustained career plan, not just a one-song promo package.

But by then the subtle message has seeped in – you can do what you’re doing and good luck with that, or you can let us help you. Suddenly, if you’re not careful, that voice in my head is saying no-one is ever going to listen to me because I don’t have £5500 to make it happen. And the basic prices don’t really offer much you couldn’t do yourself.

Not all schemes cost this much. Many participants would say they got a lot from the process. But none that I’ve seen have been easily affordable (though easy payments are available!), ranging from just under £1000 to £2000, this to help launch your next song to helping sync it, which is getting your song into a film or TV series, which, if successful, can earn the writer serious money. But that is never a given, all the scheme does is get your material through some doors in what is a highly competitive arena.

And at no point in this process – and I think this is crucial – does it ever state that they will only take your money dependant on the quality of your songs.

What is also infuriating and helps increase suspicion, is that in most cases the price isn’t up-front, you often have to scroll way, way down to find it past all the often garish and irritating selling material. Then the prices leave you with a feeling of wasted time and another that because you can’t afford these prices, you’re always going to flounder to get attention. 

But this is from established professionals so if I can’t trust them, who can I trust? It’s a hard choice that feels a long way from the point where I picked up a guitar and started trying to create something meaningful.

There is a lot of very, very fine music being made by people who will never hit the wider public consciousness. Not all want fame, just enough ‘fortune’ to help them keep putting out the songs they write and feel proud of.

Songwriting, once you’ve recorded the song and put together a decent video, feels like admin. It’s the constant, often low level, plugging away often with little response. Anything that can help lift you away from that is tempting, but often can leave you with an empty pocket, and it’s a constant judgement call.

So for now it looks like I’m going to have to settle for the drudgery of DIY promotion, and peace of mind. And crucially, just maybe, enough encouragement to persuade me to record more songs and start the whole maddening, process again!