SONGS AND SCRIPTS AND DUNKING BISCUITS

Every day tales of a winging-it creative

There is a lady who walks the streets of my local area called Joanne.

Joanne is a carer who works for a nearby caring agency and I first became aware of her when she used to call to my house to visit my father when I was juggling caring for him and working full-time.

Joanne used to get sandwiches I’d left in the fridge, put them on a plate and give them to him and although she wasn’t allowed to administer his medication she used to encourage him to take them if he’d forgotten or simply hadn’t paid them attention. She also made him a cup of tea.

In the afternoon she would call back, tidy up the plate and make him another drink. Each visit was 15 minutes long but would break up my father’s day when he only had the television for company and with his mobility problems not able to get out on his own.

The patience and compassion of a carer (photo from Borough Care, North-West England)

For me at that time Joanne was a godsend. I knew that far beyond giving him sandwiches and a drink she would make the agency aware if he seemed unwell or had fallen; which thankfully throughout the course of her visits he never did.

But Joanne doesn’t drive. Now, as of then, she walks between her house visits for miles each day, wind, rain, snow or sunshine. A slightly-built  woman in her 60’s, who I haven’t seen wear a heavy winter coat, I can only imagine her brisk pace keeps her suitably warm. Ten years after she used to visit my Dad she is still doing the same, walking from house to house, providing low level but absolutely essential care.

When my father’s care needs became more intense, other carers replaced Joanne who came in pairs and drove. She actually only called for a few months, but I remember her because of my astonishment at how she did her job without the capacity to drive. Goodness knows how many steps she does daily but then I don’t expect she would know herself.

Several of the carers who replaced Joanne became friends during that time, I would get to hear all the ins and outs of their families trials and tribulations, about the pressures of the job and the workload they were struggling with. And we had some big laughs. Some of them had considerable personalities and their characters would fill up the room when they came.

When my Dad needed the type of help I couldn’t give I used to reassure him ‘the carers will be here soon’, and I would regularly be filled with relief when I heard them come through the door, knowing with their skills and dedication they would be able to give him some comfort, especially when he was suffering with bed sores.

After my Dad passed away in June 2018 the carers obviously stopped coming. They were suddenly, instantly, sucked away like they had been scooped up in a big human vacuum. The quietness in the house that replaced them, and him, was a large, smothering presence. I can sometimes feel it even now.

My firm belief, and I was gladly able to tell the carers when they were kind enough to attend my Dad’s funeral, that without them the fabric of essential parts of society would crumble. We don’t need the self-serving politicians or the sporting highly paid sports stars or television and internet sensations.

We do however, need the Joanne’s of this world. Flawed, ordinary, and magnificent angels who for low wages and far too little respect, administer help to those in need. And in that I include loved ones thrust into a caring role they often feel inadequate to deal with. For them, every Joanne is a superstar.           


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12 responses to “JOANNE THE CARER WALKING THE STREETS TO HELP THOSE IN NEED”

  1. Darlene Avatar

    This is so true, “without them the fabric of essential parts of society would crumble.” The wonderful carers that assisted my father-in-law and his wife the last two years of his life made such a difference.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Paul Ariss Avatar
      Paul Ariss

      They undoubtably do Darlene. I would have been utterly lost without them. Very much undervalued.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Clive Avatar

    A lovely post, Paul, and you are so right. I have a carer three days a week for roughly half an hour each time, and I know I can rely on him to point out anything in my care that might need attention. The Joannes of this world should never be undervalued.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Paul Ariss Avatar
      Paul Ariss

      Sadly though they are Clive. I hope this government does better with social care because it would benefit significantly the situations in hospitals.

      I’m glad you are getting the help you feel you need, I imagine at times it is just good to talk to someone about your condition. In a cynical world it is good to know there are very many unsung good people around.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Clive Avatar

        The balance between social and medical care has long been an issue. I worked for the NHS for twenty years and spent a lot of time on joining up services with local authorities. The problem, as always, comes down to funding and priorities.

        I feel well looked after!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. petespringerauthor Avatar
    petespringerauthor

    I so get this. Here’s to the kind and compassionate souls like Joanne who bring cheer to the elderly. I think you know that I volunteer by reading to seniors twice a week. It’s one of the best parts of my week. When Mom used to live in assisted living, there was a guy (Robert), who made an impression of me. Robert made the rounds in the activity room, going to each person and talking to them. I wrongly assumed one of the people was his parent. I asked him about it one day and his answer spoke volumes to me about his character. “I’ve got the time, so why not? I’d like to think that someone would do this for me if I were in their shoes.”

    I often say that literature is the excuse that brings us together, but the real payoff is simply in the companionship. The hardest part is I form friendships with them and several have passed or moved over to the memory care side since I started.

    Thanks for sharing this post, Paul, and for recognizing the importance of people like Joanne.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Paul Ariss Avatar
      Paul Ariss

      Thank-you Pete, and glad the sentiments in the post resonated with you.

      People like Joanne (who would be staggered if she realised someone had written a blog about her) and Robert are the counterpoints to the nastiness that is celebrated in the world at present. We need to champion the everyday good souls who do things without seeing themselves worthy of such consideration. And I would include you in this. Every little kind action, in my view, is a score against the Musks and Trumps of this world. We just to hear more about it.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. petespringerauthor Avatar
        petespringerauthor

        If you have any way of sharing your article with her, I encourage you to do so. It would likely make Joanne feel good, a win in my book.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Paul Ariss Avatar
        Paul Ariss

        Will do Pete – if I can catch her up!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Janice Reid Avatar

    God bless those, like Joanne, who give of themselves to others.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. amandaVN Avatar

    Thanks Paul for this lovely heartfelt piece. I am a live-in elder carer working in the UK. Joanne sounds like one special lady!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Paul Ariss Avatar
      Paul Ariss

      Hi Amanda. Thank-you very much for your comment, getting a response like this makes writing a blog worthwhile when it connects with someone like yourself. Joanne is a special lady but she has no idea she is, and equally has no idea people from different parts of the world are now aware of her! But what you do is also special, I met some wonderfully different personalities in carers but all were a God-send to me and my father.

      Like

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